It looks like I’m gonna be one of those billion people who talk about love. The thing is that I don’t wanna give advice cause I don’t have the smallest clue of how love should work out properly and in fact I believe there shouldn’t be any. You meet different people, with different characters, with different tastes and you can’t be perfect to all of them, sooner or later we all make mistakes. I heard the most inspiring love quote ever few days ago and it was something like this: ” The one is not the one who loves you the most, it’s the one who gets you better than no one else”. Well…wow. It’s like I found a life buoy in this angry sea of love I’m sinking. I’ve been wondering myself if I ever loved someone as I pretend to believe in those times and honestly I don’t know what I should say but I tend to think that the answer is “No”! I don’t know what love is. I’ve been in love many times but I didn’t actually loved someone and this quote it’s like a definition to my kind of love, a definition that I’ve been searching for a long time, it saved me and gave the answers of some pretty haunting questions.
I’m afraid. I’m so afraid to love. You suffer and you get hurt even if you just like a person, I don’t even wanna imagine how it’s like when you love. I had 2 choices every time, to settle on that “in love” thing or to love someone. Driven by fear I guess I’ve always picked the first option, lying to myself and saying that I do love. I didn’t . Cause now I realized that I didn’t felt understood and this is one of the most important things to me. I didn’t found that perfect balance that I’m searching for in a man. Not yet. It was all just a beautiful experience, like a golden chain on which you hang your pendant as a result of it. Even though I’m a little confused I know I will be able to take a risk and stop fooling myself when it’s about loving my other half, because if it’s really my other half we won’t have to struggle to work things out.